


Wedding Blues

by 90sgillovny



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 09:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14734071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/90sgillovny/pseuds/90sgillovny
Summary: Regina finally confronts her feelings, but does Emma feel the same way?





	Wedding Blues

Zelena walks into Regina’s study expecting it to be empty since it’s after 11 and there’s a big day tomorrow, so she jumps slightly at the sight of her sister perched on the edge of the couch in her nightgown, staring into space.

“Why can’t you just tell her how you feel?” Zelena whispered, setting down the dress she picked up for Regina from Granny. The dress fit when she first picked it out, but Regina hadn’t much of an appetite the closer it got to the wedding, so she took it to Granny to have it taken in. Zelena took it upon herself to collect it as Regina seemed to have been living in a world of her own the past few days, forgetting and misplacing important wedding things.

“I’ve destroyed enough lives in my time, Zelena. I don’t need to cause any more damage to my son’s life. I don’t want to cause any more damage to Emma’s life.” Regina rubbed her tired eyes and ran her fingers through her hair. Unrequited love was _exhausting_ and she doesn’t know how much more of it she can take.

“But wouldn’t you be damaging your _own_ life? Having to watch the woman you love, love someone else? What if she feels the same? How do you know you aren’t damaging Emma’s life by allowing her to marry this... pirate.” The redhead let out a sigh and sat herself down on the sofa beside her sister, placing her hand on hers.

“I deserve it.” Brunette hair flouncing as Regina stood up and started to pace the floor. “Emma Swan could never love me. I’ve caused her too much pain. I _deserve_ to have to watch her be happy with someone else.”

Zelena raised an eyebrow like she knew things Regina didn’t. She could see how Emma turns into a complete and utter bumbling idiot every time Regina walks into a room, and she could see how Regina’s eyes light up like she’s never seen just at the thought of the saviour.

“You have to stop punishing yourself. No one else does. You have to accept the forgiveness you’ve been given and move on. Find your happiness. Get your happy ending.”

“I’m scared, Zelena.” Regina confessed, her bottom lip shaking so hard she has to bite it to stop her teeth chattering. She slides to the floor against the wall she was using as support. She thinks of all the hearts she’s taken in her hands and she understands why they screamed. Emma Swan has her heart in her hands and she doesn’t even know it.

“Oh, my love. I know. I know.” Zelena is on the floor almost immediately and let’s Regina’s head rest in her lap.

-

Regina wants to cast a darkness curse on this whole damn town. Why should anyone walk in the sun when she feels like there’s a storm cloud over her head. She wants to banish all the birds who have the audacity to sound so cheery when she spent the whole of last night choking on her sobs.

“Regina! We’re going to be late!” The chirpy British accent gets louder as it ascends the staircase until suddenly it’s opening the drapes in Regina’s room.

“I can’t be late to something I don’t plan on attending.”

“ _Bullshit_. You don’t get to miss this, Gina. What would Emma say? What would _Henry_ think? Come on, up! Up!” She pulls the covers off her sister revealing a pile of tissues that neither of them mention.

“How can I put this dress on and walk into that ceremony? How do I sit there, smiling and cheering them on?” Regina slides out of bed, removing the hair tie from her head and sliding into the dress Zelena had brought upstairs with her.

“I think you know what to do.”

-  
Regina, Zelena and Mary Margaret are in the back room of the church. Mary Margaret is fussing over the bow on Emma’s dress.

“It just, it doesn’t look... right.” She shifts her weight from her right foot to the left as though it completely changes the angle she’s looking from.

Zelena waves her hand and Mary Margaret lets out a sigh of relief that sounds like it may be her first breath in hours. “Thank you.” She whispers, taking in the sight of the finally satisfactory bow on the back of her daughters dress and sitting down in a chair behind Emma.

Emma can see Regina in the mirror, chewing her thumb nail and gently tapping her foot.

“‘Gina? You okay?”

“Hm? What? Yes, dear, I’m fine.” She smiles a ruby red smile, showing her perfect white teeth a little too much to be believable.

“Regina. _Superpowers_. What’s up?”

“Nothing, Miss Swan.”

Zelena excuses herself and Mary Margaret on the premise that Granny shouldn’t be carrying all the reception food to Regina’s house on her own.

“Okay, it’s just me and you now. Stop the crap and tell me why you look like you want to be anywhere but here.” Emma put her hands on her waist, waiting for a response, Regina could feel the tension in the room.

“I- It’s not...” _Fuck it_ , she thought. “I wish it was me up there with you. I wish it was me who gets to love you, to raise our family. Not that goddamn pirate.”

Emma’s mouth hung open, there was a sound of sorts, but nothing Regina could interpret as a response or even a word. They stood there for what felt like hours, eyes wide and heads spinning.

“You _asshole_.” Emma finally spat.

“W-what?” Regina’s eyes snapped to Emma’s from the floor.

“You pick your fucking moments, Regina. You watched me drive out of your life for what you though was forever, you don’t say you love me. I try to kiss you in the bar, you act like I repulse you. You watch me fall head over heels for you for all these years, you don’t reciprocate. But you stand here on my fucking _wedding day,_ and all of a sudden you _love_ me? It’s bullshit, Regina. You want what you can’t have and that’s the extent of it.” Emma wishes she could scream but she just sounds broken.

“I was scared, Emma. I _am_ scared. Terrified. I didn’t say anything before because I didn’t know how, and because I never thought for a second that you could ever feel that way about me.” Tears are spilling down Regina’s cheeks like a ravine and Emma’s own face is littered with droplets of rage.

Emma let out a breath and tried to pull herself together.

“I did love you. I love you now. I think I always will, but we missed our chance. We were too busy being our self-loathing, asshole selves that the thought never occurred that we both might just be feeling the same way.” Her hand found its way to Regina’s and she grazed her lips over the caramel knuckles.

“No. It doesn’t have to be too late. We could leave. You, Henry and I. We could go to New York. Or California. Or England, if that’s what you want. We can go _anywhere_ , Emma.”

“That’s crazy.” The blonde laughed through a sob, pulling the shorter woman into a hug. “We missed it, and now we have to live with it. I love you, but I love Killian too. He just got to me first.” She nuzzled into Regina’s neck, taking in her scent. “ _I wish it could’ve been you_.” She whispered and with that, Regina was alone.

-

The cheering and applause erupted as soon as Emma placed the ring on Hook’s finger. Regina cried and everyone commented on how much of a soft touch she was becoming. It didn’t take long for the church to clear and for everyone to make their way to Regina’s house for the party. Emma had changed from her long wedding dress into a shorter, similar white dress.

“Foods on the table!” Granny called from the back of the crowd.

The house filled up quickly with all of the wedding guests and some more who couldn’t make it to the ceremony. After accepting gifts and hugs and congratulations from what seemed like the entire population of Maine, Emma excused herself to the bathroom.

“Where’s Emma?” Regina asked as a general question to the room, gaining a sorry look from her sister and an actual response from David.

“I think she went to the bathroom.”

“Bedroom, more likely. I don’t see the pirate anywhere either.” Gold chuckled into his drink. Regina just passed Emma’s new husband in the living room, she felt a pang of guilt and worry as to why she’s been gone so long.

As she approached her bedroom, Regina could hear sniffles and sighing that she’d recognise anywhere. “Emma.” She whispered, climbing onto the bed beside her.

“Why did you have to tell me? I could’ve lived not knowing. I could’ve lived thinking you didn’t feel the same and trying to move on.”

“I’m sorry.” The brunette planted a kiss on the other woman’s pale shoulder. “I’m sorry.” Another kiss in the crook of her neck. “I’m sorry.” Her lips hovered over Emma’s, waiting for approval, rejection - anything. The next thing they knew, they both had swollen lips and no idea what to do next.


End file.
